Safewords, Limits, and Collars - Oh My!

I'll probably catch some flak for this... but in the past, I never really used like... concrete safewords. I never played around with like... consensual non-consent, so my partners and I didn't really see much need. And with my current Mistress... I trust her. I feel like she knows my limits and won't violate them and that I'll never need to use a safeword with her. Anything she puts me through I can handle, and if she were to put me through something that sort of "pushes" my limits I know there'd be a good reason for it... it wouldn't just be done randomly or out of cruelty. Though I suppose it would still be good to have something in case something, say, went wrong... like bindings were cutting off circulation that weren't meant to... or I (god forbid) was going through some unintended injury like a hernia. Other than that... I don't feel like I need to or even really want a safeword with her. (And I feel like it's her decision to give me one. If she wants to, I have one. If she doesn't, I don't). Anyone else feel the same way? I just... know her so well and know that she knows me, and knows what's best for me... so how can I tell her to stop? It's not like we're just occasional play-partners doing a few scenes far between... She owns me.




So yeah... I trust her not to violate my limits, even though I had them violated before... In my previous relationship "This is no longer enjoyable/this is too intense/you're going too far/please stop immediately" meant exactly that... and since she violated those, I think she'd have violated any safeword. Now I should have just ran as far away as fast as possible after that happened... but both of us were too inexperienced to really understand the full gravity of what she did so we stayed together, though after violating my trust things were never the same. I guess the scene squicked her pretty bad or brought up some intense latent psychological issues or trauma... but it wound up no longer being enjoyable at all to the point it turned into abuse (emotional/psychological and physical) and I'm just glad I was able to break out of my bonds because I'm not sure how far she'd have gone if I hadn't. But going through that experience helped me grow as a person... and showed me that I've got to be cautious and that perhaps exploring BDSM with a fellow newbie wasn't the best route and that maybe I should look for a loving, caring, experienced Mistress.




That experience also makes me appreciate my Mistress so much more, since I honestly believe something like that would never happen with her. I mean... I'm sure if I deserve it she'll put me through some harsh punishment... But I know she'd never try to actually really damage me... not just cause some impermanent pain. Any punishment she doles out the eventual intention is to teach me/train me/make me better, not just to be cruel. Because she's not cruel... she's so loving and nurturing I feel like so much more of a whole person with her. Not to mention she's psychological sound/sane and experienced enough that if some latent issue did come up I think she'd know how to deal with it without taking it out on me. I'd even push/explore beyond my limits with her if she wanted (though I know she won't, since we have essentially identical likes/dislikes) because she's so gentle, kind, caring... and idk... just has so much complete control over me I feel like she can make anything enjoyable. I've just never seen anything like it... I feel like with her, I can do anything. We can accomplish anything. I can't wait for the future.




This deep trust, this enormous love I have for my Mistress caused me to conclude I'll let her collar me if/when she decides she wants to. She owns me completely and endlessly, and I want her to own me for a long, long time. I don't ever want to be anyone else's, I don't want to have to search for years again just to settle for someone lesser than her, I don't want to have my trust violated again, I don't want to get hurt / have my submissive nature taken advantage of by users over and over again. With her, I don't feel a constant need to try to gain validation/please others... I please her and it makes me so happy. With her, I feel whole... I feel fulfilled, I feel loved. Now I know that that's a big commitment to make... It's not something I want to rush into. I want to wait. I want to wait for her, because you wouldn't rush into a marriage, and likewise I wouldn't rush into this. It's good to wait... to build more trust and more love and be sure it's both what you want before you leap in. Not that I think I'll change my mind... I know I won't - that's part of why I'm willing to wait... that and because she's worth it, and I want to show her I know she's worth it. That I'll wait forever for her if I have to. But I feel like everyday it only gets better, so there's not much "need" to be collared right now... I'm not going anywhere. But when she wants to claim me forever... I'll be so ready and so grateful... I'm sure I'll cry.