The thought (telling people about my "lifestyle choice") has entered my mind a few times. I mean... a couple of my very close friends know I'm into SOME kinky stuff, from joking around when we were all hanging out with each other and ex (or in one person's case, current) gf's. I think it was actually one of the girls that brought it up (women seem to be more open about talking about what they're REALLY into than guys, whereas with men it's all "fuck bitches cum on faces" etc macho persona bullshit. Though I still don't think society (esp. American) is quite so accepting of people choosing to live in bondage as a lifestyle choice or becoming 24/7 slaves... I think it's quite common to experiment with some light kink / light bdsm... tying your partner up/being tied up... that sort of thing.
What worries me about coming out and telling people are reactions I've seen in the past. For example, I've had all my friends stop hanging out with me for quite some time over rumors being spread about my fetishes that weren't true and were more extreme / "gross" than anything I'm into... but you know how playing telephone / schoolgirl gossip is. While I wouldn't particularly care if this happened again (I'd just say, "Fuck them, they don't deserve me for a friend," I would not want them to then think those rumors from years ago were true because I'm in a femdom relationship, then start spreading again and be judged by people I don't even know before I even get a chance to make a first impression.
Another incident that worries me is... Let's say (to protect the guilty) that the couples' names were Don and Carrie. Carrie told us a story that supposedly she had shoved the tip of a dildo (unexpectedly) into Don's ass. Apparently he screamed and fell off the bed. I'm thinking maybe it was a "fake story" to sort of test the waters and see how their friends would react to just a "taste" of what had really happened. Well anyways one of our friends named Jessie freaked out laughing, "AHHAHAH DON TAKES IT UP THE ASS!" never letting it go. I was much less gung ho to make fun of him (I had to laugh a little just at the image) since I wouldn't have minded having that happen to me, and I know what it's like to see all your friends turn on you over something you do (or people claim you do) in the privacy of your own home.
So seeing how people have acted to things that are both fairly tame and fairly extreme... I worry about telling people / people finding out. Which is kind of curious because I have little issue telling them about my Mistress (who makes me oh so happy) and her age difference. I've always hated how sexual liberation and just simply doing what makes you YOU is so frowned upon in much of America. Like... I feel like, similar to homosexuals, I was born this way... it's not a choice. For almost as long as I've known about sex, and certainly ever since I discovered it, I've LOVED femdom. The idea of it, the look of it, the sound of it, etc... And now I love the reality of it... the feel of it... the tastes and smells of it (lol)... But really though. This isn't something I would ever want to change even if I could... I hate how, thanks to society's prudish views I'm forced to feel... not ashamed... but like I should almost hide it from some people and lie to them about it (lie of omission).
I mean like... I don't know if I'd want to tell my family because I'm sure they'll have a hard enough time accepting the age difference, let alone that this older woman's also claiming me as her's/her property, beating my ass 'til it's purple, and fucking my purple ass, too. I can't possibly understand all the persecution gays go through, just for their choices and doing what makes them happy. But I feel like I got a taste... and I'd never want to reveal anything about my Mistress she doesn't want revealed, or show people a side of her she doesn't want shown... But I think it's sad we've got to hide who we are... because she's AMAZING and we're great together. Hell, it makes me want to put a show on with her downtown lol... But really I'm sure she wants people in my life to like/respect her, so... I keep my little slut mouth shut until she tells me to open it for her :P.
I don't know...how many people actually NEED to hear about your sex life? I'm very happy as a submissive man, but it isn't something I'm going to tell my mom, my brother, or most of my friends. I'd say there are maybe two or three friends that might have a conversation where it would be both related and relevant. Other than that - well, I don't know when and how they have sex, so why should they know that about me?
ReplyDeleteI understand what you are saying though...in a perfect world we could live openly and if someone saw a strap-on drying in the bathroom, it wouldn't be a deal. But we are a long way from a perfect world.
I suspect part of what you are looking for is validation, and that is hard to come by when you are a submissive man. But if the look in Her eyes doesn't do it; then any reaction from your friends is not going to be enough, either.
I think you took things the wrong way... It's not really about my sex-life... I don't want to shout from balconies or tops of buildings that I love it when my Mistress fucks my ass with a strap-on... I don't want to tell my family and friends graphic sexual fetishes. I seek no validation as I gain all validation, comfort, and happiness from serving beneath my Mistress - at the end of the day that's all that really, truly matters to me. It would be nice though, to be open to who I am, true to myself. I hate feeling like I'm lying about things... or hiding things about myself. Not sexual stuff... just that I'm simply in a female-led relationship. That she wears the pants. That has nothing to do with fetishes, it has to do with putting her needs above mine. It has to do with her being more important than I am.
DeleteI don't want people to get the wrong idea... I mean when she gives me a command and I immediately obey and thank her for the opportunity to do something for her, they're simply going to think "Pussy whipped." And while yes she does have me pussy whipped, she's not abusing me, she's not taking advantage of me, she's not exploiting my helpful nature... I don't want my family and friends to vilify or demonize her... to make her out in their minds to be this big bad woman that completely suppressed who I really am and forces me to do things against my will because that couldn't be further from the truth. It's not just about sexual fantasy... I love her. Making her happy makes me happy. I WANT to fulfill her every need, desire, or whim completely and thoroughly no matter how big, how small, etc. I don't think they'd really get it without me actually explaining who I am at a base level, as a person, and what I truly look for in a woman and in a relationship. That's why I want to tell people. Not for personal validation. I'm comfortable with who I am and I could give a fuck less what anyone thinks of me... But I care what they think of my Mistress.
call your dom or she is going to replace you with a more obedient boy.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I was late, I fucked up... made a huge mistake. My Mistress' happiness is all that matters to me and I'm torn now that I failed her.
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