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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

I Love Listening When She Speaks

While I don't necessarily know how I feel about "love at first sight" (I believe real, genuine, strong, lasting love takes time to build though you can start to fall for someone quite quickly as I did with my Mommy) I was hooked after our very first conversation.  Now that I love her, her voice controls me, but even the first time I heard it I was enraptured... captured, even.

Her tone can send warmth through my body like a heated hospital blanket or strike fear in my heart like the fiercest of storms.  Even when she just sounds mad, but is actually joking, my whole mood changes.  Or, when she's yelling at her puppies, I get submissive and whimper just as much as they do!  When telling a story or going on long rants/monologues I can wind up almost hypnotized and wind up having to say, "What?" 'cause I wound up drifting off into a daydream about how wonderful she is and how much I love her while she was talking.  Sometimes she'll take offense to it or if we're on the phone think I was falling asleep so I try to keep it from happening, but she just has so much power over me.

Speaking of on the phone, when we're apart she can control me almost 100% just as well as she can in real life.  Of course she's not able to give me a smack or whip me or anything, but just the fear of hearing that tinge of anger in her voice is enough to keep me in line.  "Do it, NOW," gets me moving just as quick as a smack to my ass or a slap to my face and though of course I could just pretend to do something on the phone, she commands so much respect, admiration, love, and fear that I'd never dare do that.

And if she starts talking dirty to me whether it's on the phone or in person?  Forget it.  I'm hornier than anyone, standing right at attention.  She's a way with words like no one else which will sometimes get me laughing because she's damn funny, but she knows how to push my buttons too and she'll often have me begging to come just with that audible chocolate voice of hers.  "Like music to my ears" is an understatement.  I don't even listen to music anymore, I just want to listen to my Mommy.

And when she's loving and comforting... oh God.  There's no happier man on her... how sweet her voice is, how sensual, how caring... I could be enraged after being cut off and forced into a guardrail by some jackass who just leaves the scene and her voice'll hit me and my icy revenge-seeking heart will just instantly melt and I'll get all calm and peaceful.  As a Buddhist I used to meditate a lot...  I find myself doing it less and less, her voice brings me as much inner peace as any number of hours of deep meditation... and she can send me into deeper and calmer meditative states / subspace just with her voice (she's done it on the phone... it's shocking.  We'll be talking and if she starts getting all dominant and commanding, next thing you know I'm babbling nonsense and seeing myself riding through picturesque valleys on golden horses with her.  Or, you know... comparable stuff).

It's to the point where I can hardly fall asleep without her, but with her by my side or whispering to me sweetly on the phone I'll be out in seconds.  She's better than any hypnotist.  Lightly lilting about how much she loves me and cares about me and how she'll always be there for me and keep me safe and protect me... and forget it.  Or if I'm being stubborn a demanding, "Go the FUCK to sleep!" does the trick, too.  She's got so much control over me and so much command over my senses, but she doesn't need to resort to just pain or just visuals... her voice alone is enough to have me licking her feet, cleaning her toilet, building a log cabin in the woods... whatever she wants... It's just... I don't know, magic.  I've never seen... or well, heard... anything quite like it.  Just one more reason why I'm so in love and can't imagine my life without her... she's the best.

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