A Weekend In Paradise (Intro/Part 1)

(No sexual stuff yet in this part, just a setup for what's to come.  Based on real experiences with my Mistress. [Though not in the same way movies are "based" on a true story.  This is 100% true, but dialogue may not be accurate to a T/exact words.  And mundane stuff like doing laundry or cooking etc is left out]).

Driving on 40-55 speed highways for a half hour in order to avoid tolls and dealing with narrow lanes and narrow talent Mass-hole drivers drains my energy, but not determination.  Despite such resolve, anxiety, jitters, and anticipation attacks my system full force as I pull onto my Momma's street and stop.  Of course there are only resident spots available and not visitor, but I'm too excited to drive around searching -  I just HAVE to see her.

Fluttering fingers fumble with my phone's buttons for a few moments, forced to delete and reenter numbers several times until I get frustrated and hold down the 1 button to speed dial her.  It's apt... since that's what she is to me, Number One.

"Momma, I'm on your street!  I'm parked at the intersection of Mabel and Chief."
"I'll be right there, Babyboy."

She had finally invited me to stay at her home, for a whole weekend no less!  Excitement bubbles in my belly, along with the butterflies.  In a feeble attempt to quell them, I plant my left foot on the floor of my Hyundai, bouncing my knee so rapidly that if someone sat on my lap they would be as likely to vomit as if riding a rollercoaster on a full stomach.  With sweaty hands and shaky palms I smoke a cigarette to calm my nerves; watching, waiting for her to waltz on over.  Every time I see an umbrella bob above car roofs down the street, my heart leaps in my chest - only to be repeatedly disappointed.  I knew she'd make me wait... I smile and imagine her procrastinating until I called her and told her I was close to start getting ready.

While lighting my second cigarette I wind up dropping my lighter... There she is!  Long, dark red hair sways in the wind with every sultry step she takes - walking, as always, with purpose.  Those thick, luscious lips curl into one of her equally heart-melting and alluring smiles.  Adorned in comfortable clothing, she's as sexy as ever - I'm a firm believer in it's not about what's being worn, but the wearer.  A simple black hoodie and jeans - but damn do they show off her full hips and lovely legs.

I pull out of my parking spot both to pick her up so she can show me a safe place to park and to keep her from having to walk all the way over, as much as I'd love to watch.  Each movement has a grace and confidence seldom seen in most women - she's always full of fabulousity.  When next to her I stop and lean over to push her door open.  She sits and I can't help but stare somewhat awkwardly, smiling from ear to ear.

"Come here,"

Looping her finger into the O ring on my collar, she pulls me towards her and our lips lock in a passionate, firm kiss.  Her tongue slips in, slides against my own, and swirls around inside my mouth, before parting with a light smacking sound.

"So... whaddya think, Babyboy?"

In a hoarse voice I almost croak, "Perfect as always, Momma!"

After bringing her to a local bakery to pick up a cake (since it was my birthday), we park back on her street and she gives me a small tour of her neighborhood.  The whole time I'm thinking, "Come on... come on... wanna go back to your place.. come on.  Oh I don't wanna talk to this person...  Fuck that monument!"  Not that it wasn't a nice neighborhood, and I wasn't interested in JUST sex... but I could not wait to spend quality time with my Mistress... one on one time... after being apart so long.  After what seemed like ages we walked back to her place.  She opened her door and gave me such a sexy look from over her shoulder, and beckoned me in....

(To be continued)

Fear and Worry

It's natural for we humans to feel fear and apprehension, especially when heading into the unknown.  We often fear what we've never experienced.  Now I had had some healthy fears going into this, and my Mistress has dispelled all of them save for the unavoidable (fear of being without her/losing her, and fear of her wrath).

As a virgin, I was terrified.  Not of being hurt physically, not of not liking it... I love and trust my Mistress and know she takes care of me better than I ever could.  But since I had saved my virginity, since I didn't just want to throw it away in some little scene with a stranger or with someone who wouldn't appreciate it, I was worried about it.  I didn't want to give it to her - something so permanent, something I could give to no one else once it's gone, something I'd never get back that would always be hers -  if she were just going to leave after.  But I'm not scared anymore.  Because I know my Mistress better now, I know that she's not a virgin-hunter and that she won't fuck just anyone.  If she fucks me it's to make her happy, but she seems to not want to just throw it away... or take advantage of me/hurt me for no reason and I'm so eternally grateful for that.  I trust her.  I love her.  And I can't wait to give myself to her... now knowing I'll never get it back makes it that much better.  I want to be hers forever, I want my Mistress to always own me and even if she decides I don't deserve her and that she'll cast me out (which I pray never happens), I don't want to ever be able to get her out of my head.

I was also afraid of being hurt again.  I've been hurt so much before... as a submissive, most of my ex's and the women I've tried to be with didn't know how to handle that... and would take advantage of it.  Would use me and abuse me and throw me out.  And not sexually, not for the purposes of domination and not with any kind of... I don't know, trust or understanding... They'd just hurt me pointlessly, just because they could not because I deserved it.  And while I'm hers to use and abuse, she's not doing it for any ulterior motives.  I had set up barriers, walls, defenses.  I had never wanted to give in again, never wanted to love someone again.  And while they were useless against her and I found myself falling for her even while I was terrified of it, terrified of the possibility of being hurt again... I felt like that was a good thing.  Because if you can be hurt that means you care, and if you can care that means there's still hope.  But my Mistress will take care of me.  My Mistress comforts me, calms every storm, and rights every wrong (the wrongs of the world and of my past, she's never wrong).  She's so beautiful inside and out I know she won't take advantage of me... and I know if she crushes me it's because I deserve it because she's not a cruel bitch, she's a just, kind, stern, powerful woman who will do whatever she wants and that's how it should be.  I accept it.  I accept her.  I don't want to fight it, I know I cant.  I've opened the gates, laid down the walls, and her warmth has filled my heart.  Never have I felt so good, so whole, such belonging, as I have serving My Mistress.  Beneath her feet, bent over in front of her...it's where I always want to be.

Introduction/Explanation

We are creating this blog to document and share the story of our D/s relationship... the start of a beautiful thing.  I'm a male submissive in my 20s and she is a female dominant.  A "cougar," if you will... I'm younger, she's older, and we love it.  We're passionate about each other and I feel very strongly that this doesn't happen very often.  Not only have I not felt this way about anyone before and I don't think feelings this strong come about very often (I'd do anything for her... Not just saying that, I'm not being dramatic.  I know it's cliche, but really... I value her and I never want to disappoint her, let her down, hurt her, etc), but I'd think it's especially rare in a d/s relationship.

It's a once in a life time situation.  The stars really aligned.  Two people who are great for each other in all kinds of "vanilla" ways... Like, if we met and I wasn't into femdom I think we'd still be GREAT/best friends.  The more I find out about her the more I want to, the more she drives me crazy.  You couldn't have written/come up with all the different random experiences we've both had.  Though we were apart for most of our lives... it seems like we've been so together, we just didn't know it yet.  But not only is she the ying to my yang in experience, preferences, hopes/wants, mental/physical... there's also a great sexual chemistry...  We both have "taboo" and "abnormal" interests.  There aren't many women into all the things she's into, and while a lot of men have fetishes... It's like ours are all the same.  We fit together like lock and key, hand and glove, etc.  I could go on all day.

Anyways, like I said I'd like to document our relationship and show it to the world.  I don't want to make you jealous, I want to give you hope.  'Cause I'm just an average guy and she's a superstar, I count my blessings every minute of everyday.

And if you need advice or want to talk about the d/s lifestyle, the psychology of it, the impact of it, how it manifests in relationships...  Really anything about it... please comment.  Share.  Grow.